Thursday, June 30, 2011

The Notebook

I haven't seen the movie in it's entirety, but I think I have seen the ending. I'm not really sure. Either way, I started reading the book last night. Books are always better, anyways.
At the beginning there is a line from another character, Gus, and he tells Noah that your first love changes you forever and you'll never forget them, something like that.
I was lying in bed reading, so when I was done I asked Kellen who his first love was. He thought for a minute and said that in high school,  there was a girl he really liked, and he thought that she had a lot of characteristics of someone he'd want to marry someday and that she was someone who he thought he could have loved.
Then he said, "But I've never loved anyone the way I love you."
Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww, I almost melted right there.
No one is perfect, and we're not perfect. But we try SO hard to be each other's best friend. It's funny...when you first get married, you are two people trying to bring your lives together and learn to live with each other.
Now, 4.5 years down the road, 2 kids, lots of tears, lots of laughs, heartaches and happiness, multiple car purchases, 4 moves and a house later...our lives are so intertwined that I don't know where I end and he begins. One of us usually says exactly what the other is thinking, and we laugh and say "that is so weird!"

But it is so fun.

Tuesday, June 14, 2011


Today, I just want to freeze a few things and save them. I'm not talking about food. I'm talking about my babies.

My little baby is almost 6 months old (how is that even possible?!?!) That means we are halfway to Christmas! When I rock him to sleep and he is snuggled against my chest, with his soft slow breathing, his perfect little lips parted, and that wonderful baby smell...I just want to freeze him in that moment.
When Jonas tells me "I love you too, Mommy" and gives me a kiss on my cheek, I want to freeze that. He is 3, he is innocent and the world is exciting and new. Before I know it, he will be a teenager.

A few weeks ago, it was early morning, I think just after 1am, and I had nursed my baby back to sleep and was rocking him. I wasn't tired and I didn't want to put him back in his crib. I just wanted to rock him all night and hold him close. I finally put him back in his crib and then checked on Jonas before heading back to my room. He was sleeping soundly surrounded by his blankets and I stood in the hallway and just watched him. I wanted to go crawl in bed next to him and stay with him. I wished there were a way for me to always ensure that his life would be so good. It was one of those quiet moments where your heart is full of peace and immense gratitude, and you're house is quiet and calm and the stresses of the day are also sleeping.
The moment was perfect and it reminded me of my favorite children's book, Love You Forever:

A mother held her new baby and very slowly rocked him back and forth, back and forth, back and forth.
And while she held him, she sang:
I'll love you forever,
I'll like you for always,
As long as I'm living
my baby you'll be.

The baby grew. He grew and he grew and he grew. He grew until he was two years old, and he ran all around the house. He pulled all the books off the shelves. He pulled all the food out of the refrigerator and he took his mother's watch and flushed it down the toilet. Sometimes his mother would say, "this kid is driving me CRAZY!"

But at night time, when that two-year-old was quiet, she opened the door to his room, crawled across the floor, looked up over the side of his bed; and if he was really asleep she picked him up and rocked him back and forth, back and forth, back and forth.
While she rocked him she sang:
I'll love you forever,
I'll like you for always,
As long as I'm living
my baby you'll be.

I love that book.